How To Be a Failure at Work

October 10, 2010 – Ask any expert and they can all agree on strategies that will result in you becoming a failure at work. Since life coaching is about realizing your potential, it’s also important to avoid traits that will get you blacklisted at work, or worse fired all together because of your lack of inability to lead and inspire. Here are three tips that will guarantee you a lifetime of misery and failure at work.

The first bit of wisdom for becoming a failure at work is to demoralize your co-workers. Say things like “wow this economy is terrible, I hope it does not get any worse” or maybe “did you hear the CEO is planning another round of cuts according to HR”. To be a failure at work make sure that you bring down as many people as possible. Never be a source of hope and optimism.

The second bit of wisdom for becoming a failure at work it to take holidays by calling out sick. Why should you plan ahead that you need to take time off? Let everyone else worry about that and you go focus on your work. When a holiday comes up ask to take it off. If the boss says no simply call out sick, or say your grandparents died, or just make up some reason that you can not be at work. It’s inconsiderate for sure, but this is easily one of the best ways to become a failure at work.

The last bit of wisdom for being a failure at work is to gossip. Tell Dave and Ron that Mike thinks they’re both jerks. Then tell Amanda that Lucy fancies her boyfriend and has been making moves at him. Then tell Mike that Dave slept with the boss’s wife at the Christmas party but told her his name was Mike. Send a letter to Ron swearing undying love and sign it Dave and so on and so forth. This stuff doesn’t have to be technically true, you’re just trying to be a failure at work.

To conclude, you should be able to see that being unsuccessful at work can be really easy. These tips will help you get there, but they need to be honed, perfected and worked on for years and years to get the most out of them. Some just do it naturally, others it will take time. Of course you could you could just work on being the best person you can be. It really is your choice.

 

 

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